Amnesia Befogs Nation and Other Lapses

Manly thoughts: Dustpec’s Hornet

Amnesia Befogs Nation…
Dustspec remembers all too well….




We all remember “Liver Pill O’Malley” from the Prodigious Melon Festival back in ’03. Many a Dustspecian was beguiled by his promises of “a cleaner liver will drive Columbia.” I confess I was one of them. The portwine blotches on my forehead have almost completely faded; sadly, the most noticeable one still looks like Arkansas. So, we have learned from Experience, that harsh mistress, not to forget. For all that is swallowed is not beneficial; indeed, I believe the liver also to be overrated in matters of health.
The main point is that our great nation has not learned the lessons taught Dustpec. Seems like everyone is forgetting; amnesia has become the national pastime. Take “Limber John Smith,” lately right fielder of the Arkansas City (Kansas) nine:



When asked back in ’99 how he was able to belt no less than 21 home runs in a season, and whether he had had recourse to tonics, he replied “my manly strength is owed solely to the purity of my New England blood and a steady diet of flax.” Now we know better. He must have gotten something from O’Malley; that is the only way to explain his present shrunken form. Blocked it out of his mind, I suppose, just like we do when tumbleweeds cause our cattle to scatter.

Of course, it also comes as little surprise when politicians, those rare fruits of the national orchard, also seem to be a tad “absentminded.” Hoots, the Horseshoeman, and the Misses Coolbreeze and Amy were commenting just the other day down at Stuntz’s (while enjoying a plate of malted baps), that they were surprised it had taken so long for Representative Johnson of Nebraska to remember that he hadn’t paid his excise taxes. I guess when you’ve yelled “Bryan is Right, but could be Righter,” often enough it addles your brain. Now, I’m not surprised that Bryan himself sometimes forgets matters at hand; Our Nation’s Hero is often engulfed in waves of womanly distraction…



I suspect they are also hoping he’ll spill some free silver. But Johnson, who more resembles Trapper Matt’s pet owl, Ticonderoga, should have ample leisure to reflect on his civic obligations.



Come to think of it, it more resembles the late, lamented President McKinley. I suppose, at the end of the day, when the wheezing livestock try to sleep, life gets so busy sometimes that it is hard to keep everything straight. The best you can hope to do, as Miss Bonnie was saying just the other day, is hope that the knot will hold….

Finally, some good news….
Miss Maybell, visiting her cousin, “Thunderclap” Boegner, was able to land what appears to have been a fish down at the old tank. The Crusading Young Editor told me all about it over a round of Big Oranges at Stuntz’s. Congratulations to her, and a general round of surprised exclamation from all of Dustpec. We didn’t think there was anything left in that mudhold save for a few liver flukes. So, maybe, as February writhes its way towards March, there many be a change in our fortune. It’s a lesson to remember for sure: sometimes you’ve just got to put out your line and hope for the best.

Until next week….
Best be upwind of the draft.